I’m in the middle of what seems like an endless lake. 
Alone in this boat,
In the middle of a storm.
Just striving towards the shore. 
How badly I want to get there. 
To stand on the shore,
To look up at the tall glistening mountain tops,
To walk through the vibrant lush forests
and see all of God’s creatures living together in peace.

I think back to the shore I left many years ago.
It was a rocky shore,
A land which once flourished then became dry and barren.
It served its purpose, and I utilized its resources while I could.
Sometimes I wish I left with the others.
They departed by foot and I proceeded by water.
They must have made it to their destination by now.
In a new land amongst other friends, 
with everything they ever wanted and all they need.
Why didn’t I just stay with them? 
Choose their destination.
Instead, I chose to travel alone,
In hopes that the destination I desire 
will be everything I’ve wanted. 

Yet, here I am.
Alone.
In this boat.
In the middle of a seemingly endless body of water,
Stuck in a storm.

The waves have nearly overcome me.
The shoreline which was once visible ahead is now 
hidden behind thick layers of fog.
All I can hear are the waves, 
which are crashing stronger and stronger.
I feel them bring the boat higher and higher,
So I cling to the boat stronger.
I can’t even paddle anymore.
All I can do now is wait,
Wait for this storm to pass.
So I close my eyes,
Hoping that when I open them 
everything will be gone and this would just be a bad dream.
But it feels like I’ve been waiting, 
                            hoping, 
                            wishing 
                            for so long already.
Waited for what feels like weeks…or has it been months?

There were some days I’d try to keep paddling,
Pushing forward despite the storm ahead;
But I stopped.
Exhausted from feeling like I was getting nowhere,
Uncertain of the direction I was heading.
Other times I felt so determined to move forward 
that I would keep paddling,
Not caring which direction I was heading,
Only to be stopped by the wind.

I feel I’ve been in this boat so long 
that I’ve forgotten why I’m heading to the shore,
Why I once desired the shore so much.
Why didn’t I just follow the others in their footsteps?
Their path must have been so much smoother. 
Easier.
And they at least had each other.
But then again,
           What if they were swallowed alive by wild creatures?
           What if they injured themselves along the way?
Or even worse...
what if there was a dead end to the path they followed?
I guess I won’t find out until I reach the end,
Until we see each other at the finish line.

So, I wait.
    I hope.
    I pray.
    I cry.
    I yell out.
Feeling as if my voice doesn’t exist 
because there is no way for it to be heard.

But after a while of waiting,
Listening to nothing but the waves crashing and the wind blowing,
It does seem like I hear something else.
A whisper, perhaps?
Or maybe it’s just a change in tune from the wind.
I feel a light breeze blow by, 
My hair wisping across my face.
The hairs on my skin rising up from the chill.
I shiver.

“Wait.”

It is a voice.

“My darling, wait,”
The voice repeats.

I look ahead, squinting my eyes in hope to see something better.
Nothing.
     Just fog.
So I continue to sit.
I close my eyes.
I listen.

“I am here.”
The voice whispers.
I suddenly feel warmer.
I feel peace.
The voice sounds familiar,
Like one I’ve communicated with before.

There are so many different voices you hear on these waters,
It starts to get more difficult 
to decipher which ones to listen to.
The evil ones can sound so endearing at first,
          Persuasive & seemingly pure-hearted.
You follow them,
But then you are lead into more treacherous waters,
                 Lead to the wrong shores.

But this voice,
This voice is different.
It is definitely the loving kind.

“Darling, I am here.” 
I hear its soothing tone again.

I do know this voice.
It is the voice of My Father.
A voice I honestly hadn’t heard for a while.
A voice I’d run from in the past.
A voice I’d tune out.
A voice I’ve mistakenly chosen not to trust.
And that choice led me astray.

Since then, I’ve craved to hear this voice again;
Craved its assurance,
       its warmth,
       its peace.
I never knew I needed to hear this voice so badly.
This time I will listen even more closely.

“Wait, abide.”
The voice whispered ever so softly.

I looked around one last time,
To see if I could put a face to this voice.
This voice which has continually pursued me,
Trying to redirect me so many times.
As I look into the distance,
All I see still is the thick fog.
Nothing else.
Nobody else.

So I have to sit and trust.
Trust what I hear,
      what I feel,
      what I know.

And I sit,
In the middle of this storm.
Amidst the uncertainty,
The shores unseen.
Here, I wait.

Wait with my Father.
For although I cannot see Him,
I feel Him.
I know He is here.
       He is here,
       Waiting with me.

And as I wait,
I will abide in Him.
       Trust in Him.
       Trust that I will reach the shore.
                             The shore I’ve strived to reach for so long.

I’m in the middle of what seems like an endless lake. 
Alone in this boat,
In the middle of a storm.
  Abiding.