Next weekend I have the honor to stand by my cousin’s side as a maid of honor on her wedding day. I am SO SO beyond excited for this, not only because I get to go back to America and see my family for a bit, but also because I get to celebrate a woman who I’ve loved and admired my entire life.

My cousin, Lani Helm, is the closest thing to an older sister I’ve ever had. I literally refer to her as my sister half the time – and no one seems to think otherwise. I basically grew up by her side, wanting to become her. To her relief, I didn’t end up doing exactly as she did – I’ve gone and pursued my own passions. But, in a way, part of who I am today is attributed to her. She is woman who truly has overcome adversity and stepped out in boldness to live her best life. Which is one reason why I’ve always admired her.

Lani fully embraces who she is, and utilizes her gifts to create positive change in the world. As an African American female business owner who is lesbian, one would say the odds would be stacked against her. Yet, she hasn’t let any of these labels define her and continues to work hard and make an impact.

At 12 years old, Lani began volunteering to fulfill the “Christian service” requirement for her school. It was recommended to her that she volunteer at a therapeutic summer camp for kids with special needs. This is where it all began.

“Within one day, I had fallen in love with my camper (who had Autism; which I had not yet heard of until that day) and the concept of the camp. By the end of the week, I had a ‘nonverbal’ child saying a new word and instantly craved to keep up the streak! I knew it was something I was going to enjoy doing, but I had no idea I would spend the next 18 years of my life investing in the world of Autism!”

Since then, Lani has had a heart for working with kids. In 2011, she obtained her Bachelor of Arts in Psychology and Child Development, with an emphasis on Autism, from the University of Hawaii. Now, she is the gym & program director of We Rock the Spectrum in Austin, Texas. We Rock the Spectrum isn’t your typical kid’s gym; it is a sensory friendly indoor play space which provides a safe, nurturing, and fun environment to foster learning, exploration and safe sensory experiences. It’s a place that provides social skills groups and activities for children across the spectrum.

Even though running a business has an aspect of competition to it, Lani’s overall hope is to see more sensory gyms popping up all over. “I’m proud to see how much awareness and light is being shone on the need for inclusivity for kids of all types and the accommodations being made to get us there.” It truly is incredible to see how our society is shifting – even if it’s very gradually – to accommodate and care for anyone which requires assistance (whether that be physical, emotional or mental help). I’m proud to know that my own cousin is one of these pioneers for change, and is impacting the way society views differences!

Being in Austin, Texas, Lani hasn’t experienced many problems in discrimination of being in the LGBT community in general. “Yes, there’s the occasional offensive question or comments, which is ironic in our inclusive play space, but it is honestly so rare. We make it known that we are an ally of ALL families and we have plenty of parents, guests, and past/previous staff that fall into that spectrum as well.”

However, she does say she faces discrimination due to her younger age as a business owner. Though she feels respected as a female owner, she definitely gets slack about how young she looks. This can make her feel a certain disconnect, as if there is a lack of trust from some the folks. It’s especially difficult for her to feel this judgement when they haven’t yet seen the amazing work she can do for their kids. Still, she doesn’t let these comments stop her! “Don’t let this babyface fool you, I’ve got years on me of making kids smile and learn through play!” That’s right – age is just a number!

Though running a business can be time-consuming and no doubt stressful, Lani has revelled in watching her dreams unfold. “All due to the hard work I’ve put in – Every time we have an extra busy day or a specialized sensory-friendly event that’s a huge hit I’m mentally like, ‘Yes! I did that! This is working!’” She loves when families recognize how the gym is a safe haven for all kids, and are so excited to be on the journey. She also finds so much joy in seeing how much and how quickly so many of the kids grow. “I get to be on so many of other people’s journeys as well and get excited about their small successes as well!”

Over the past few years, Lani has had multiple personal health issues. “A huge part of my journey was losing over 120lbs while trying to get this business up and running on top of simultaneously facing an intense leg injury. There were so many days I didn’t think I would make it until the end of the day, but my family, customers, and future wife were by my side the whole way cheering me on!” What an inspiration to keep moving forward despite any road blocks. If you have your mind set on something – you can do it!

Currently, Lani’s biggest health goal is to keep her mental health in check. She says she wants to remember that as hard as she tries – no matter how much heart she puts into the gym – she can’t please everyone. “I set daily goals for myself to stay centered and focused. It helps me not get overwhelmed with playing superwoman.” I definitely think we can all benefit from this mindset!

Lani’s current favorite TV show is a toss up between Shameless and Good Girls. She is also still obsessed with peppermint left over from the holiday season, and adds it to coffee, treats, etc. “I love peppermint flavored anything and I hate that it’s so seasonal!”

When I asked who Lani’s biggest role model is, she impulsively wanted to say Beyoncé (I mean who wouldn’t choose Queen B). Realistically, she says her wife-to-be. “There are too many reasons to list, but in short, she is the true superwoman. My other half, a mother, a middle school teacher, a grad student, a volunteer at my gym, my sanity when I’m outrageously stressed out; I mean she really does it all folks. And on close to no sleep.”

When times get tough, Lani stays motivated by knowing there are families that need her, and kids that she loves. She also stays motivated knowing her future wife & daughter need and love her.

Lani’s advice to women everywhere: “You are as good as you allow yourself to be. I know there are plenty of women (and men) who think like me; I know I’m as ‘smart, capable, etc’ as everyone tells me, but only when I step out of my shyness and lack of confidence do I actually allow myself to be. I had so many dreams that I was afraid to pursue for fear of failure, but after finally stepping up and pushing myself, I really have convinced and shown myself than I am more than what I believed. You are too.”

I’ll leave it at that and let you re-read and soak that in. You are more than what you believe. Don’t let yourself stop yourself. Lani certainly didn’t. And I’m so proud of my sister-cousin for believing in herself. Go to the We Rock The Spectrum – Austin website to find out more about Lani’s sensory gym. You can also follow the gym instagram page (@wrtsaustintx) and on Facebook.